"look back & learn"

➫October 2008 ➫November 2008 ➫December 2008 ➫January 2009 ➫February 2009 ➫March 2009 ➫April 2009 ➫May 2009 ➫June 2009 ➫July 2009 ➫August 2009 ➫September 2009 ➫October 2009 ➫November 2009 ➫December 2009 ➫January 2010 ➫February 2010 ➫March 2010 ➫April 2010 ➫May 2010 ➫June 2010 ➫July 2010 ➫August 2010 ➫September 2010 ➫October 2010 ➫November 2010 ➫December 2010 ➫January 2011 ➫February 2011 ➫March 2011 ➫April 2011 ➫May 2011 ➫June 2011 ➫July 2011 ➫August 2011 ➫September 2011 ➫October 2011 ➫November 2011 ➫December 2011 ➫January 2012 ➫February 2012 ➫March 2012 ➫April 2012 ➫May 2012 ➫June 2012 ➫July 2012 ➫August 2012 ➫September 2012 ➫October 2012 ➫November 2012 ➫December 2012 ➫January 2013 ➫February 2013 ➫March 2013 ➫April 2013 ➫May 2013 ➫July 2013 ➫August 2013 ➫October 2013 ➫November 2013 ➫December 2013 ➫January 2014 ➫February 2014 ➫May 2014 ➫June 2014 ➫July 2014 ➫September 2014 ➫October 2014 ➫November 2014 ➫December 2014 ➫February 2015 ➫March 2015 ➫May 2015 ➫June 2015 ➫October 2015

I guess I just have so much to thank God for.

Although it's a reality that leaders are leaving to pursue their studies I'm glad to have seen how the younger ones in NextGen or aiya, i just say the name lah.. I'm glad to see Caleb to rise up as a leader. It's quite overwhelming to see how he's all out for God after youth camp. I was kinda surprised how he suddenly became so active in CG, honestly speaking.

Then he explained today that he had practically no free time throughout last year and he's quite busy this year too. How he really wanna prioritise Christ this year and how he sees prayer so importantly now. He's also started to open up himself, I guess? It definitely requires huge courage to be sharing what you don't even tell you bradaas(close buddies in school) but CG members. True enough that most friendships last longer when there's a spiritual connection involved.

For example, Caryl and I? She brought me to Christ, that's how we connected and recently she was facing some problems and we got pulled back together because of Christ again. It's amazing how things turned out, and the fact that we are even closer than before, just amazing. I guess it's just how it goes when you bond with a person spiritually, truly amazing that it's indescribable.

It's kinda sad though, that she's leaving, but I do pray that she'll do well in her studies in Aussie. No matter how long she will be there I really pray that this friendship lasts.


A note to Caryl, not sure if she will read this but..

I thank God so much each day that I've Him in my life, but you definitely have no idea how thankful I am to have a friend like you. Although you said you didn't do much but this just shows us how important it is to just do our part, to just try our best to invite people and let God do the work in them. I've never expected that we would become this close after so much we've been through in these five years but I'm thankful that after all that has happened, we finally know who our true friends are. Just like what Pastor Chris said today (to be precised, yesterday), all sufferings only happen because He wants to shape us for the betterment, to be a stronger person. So I pray and hope that in the future, no matter what happens, if you can't find anyone that you can talk to about your problems or anything, I'll always be here available for you! Also, let's strive to seek God deeper, and also not forgetting to keep each other accountable, because being in one body (of Christ), it's important to always look out for each other. We sure won't want anyone of us to fall out from His goodness, and I'm sure this can only come true if we really spend time praying everyday, to guard our hearts, this can only be done through Him and by Him."

K this is awkward I just saw a rat right in front of me. It's huge and I don't know where it's hidden now. I hate rats ugh anyway..

Please do keep in touch k, love? :) ♥


UGh so stupid that rat just ran under my chair. I think my house is not suitable for CG anymore lol. Guess I just have a-too-amazing neighbour who never keeps his garden clean. :') So much for cleaning up I'm so glad to have him ugh NO!! I don't know where it's hidden now again!!

Let's just go back to seriousness or else I'm going crazy.

Anywaysssss, something amazing happened today I don't even know what to say about it. So miraculous in a way. Uhm, actually I drifted my mind away during the prayer in the morning because I was kinda worried how I might not be able to commit myself in YouthAlpha 'cause I'm guessing it will be during the weekends. I guess God shouldn't have answered me through Fiona but He works in amazing ways! (because I was being disobedient hahaha! Not focusing during prayer :P) So after the Alpha training in the morning. Fiona sent me message through Whatsapp that her dad's friend would like to hire someone who teaches a kindy kid for half a day.. Since that boy has only just started his kindergarten so the parents wanted someone to make sure that he's doing his homework and all. (let's pray that he won't turn out to be a naughty child)

And then I called the lady, I'm still quite surprised that I actually opened up to her honestly about everything and I hope she didn't mind me talking too much ahahha, 'cause the fact that I called her she didn't pick up and she called me back I might have already caused her to spend quite an amount on the phone bill hahaha!! But she was nice! She told me that it's located at Bangsar and if you know me well you'll know that I have transport problem 24/7. Then this lady said she will contact the parents and pass her my contact number. So be it, if it's God's will, it will happen.

I'm actually depending on Him a lot lately, especially in making decisions. I've decided that if Form 6 shifts to the centralised building, then I will choose early childhood (or even foundation/A-levels in Science) depending on my results! Which is good, definitely, to be able to depend on Him I feel so safe. So I think people were quite shocked that I looked less worried than they did ahahha!

I want to make it a goal this year to just surrender all my problems to Him, and be less worried.

"We're giving it all away, away, we're giving it all to go Your way!" I guess this sums everything up? :)

Coming up..
 1.There will be night rallies (CONCERT!!) this coming Thursday, Friday and Saturday by Planetshakers (Not some *CHAPALANG* band but they're all the way from Aussie!!) Do come if you wanna be hyped up for concerts! It's FREE! Not a concert person? Nevermind! You'll enjoy yourself nonetheless! Don't worry about being awkward 'cause everyone is very friendly hehe! Oh! It'll be held at DUMC, Dream Centre! Do tell me if you're interested(or FB/Twitter/Whatsapp - I have practically everything!)


 2. There will be a YouthAlpha Launch Party on the 15th of February (Saturday) for Teens from 2-4pm ; 16th of Feb (Sunday) for Campus students from 8-10pm. It's a party so don't be afraid to mix around! There'll be FREE FOOD! What say you? It's FREE!!  Do come, it's at DUMC, Dream Centre! Do tell me if you're interested, too!

 SHARE THIS IF YOU WANT TO BUT I HOPE YOU COME ALONG AND HAVE FUN WITH ME, US, EVERYONE! SEE YOU!

Labels: Church, Testimony

You will live by the sword and you will serve your brother. But when you grow restless, you will throw his yoke from off your neck." - Genesis 27:40

Never really knew what this verse meant, but I guess I do now.

We need to get tired of a situation, we need to pray earnestly, faithfully, consistently. I guess he kinda answered what I was curious about. I was really, really curious if I should pray saying that it's all gonna be according to God's will or insist something to happen so that it happens. The bible also says, "ask and you shall receive". If you never ask, you shall never get what you've longed for. & God wants to hear what you want. I'm once again reminded that God is always there to stand by.

He gave an example. He said if we're praying for our family members/ relatives to have a chance to get to know God, we should really pray desperately but not "God if You want it to happen it will". I've always prayed this kinda prayer and I guess God just didn't feel how much I desire my family members to get to know such a loving and faithful God. I know I've mentioned this before but meeting God is definitely one of the best things that could happen in one's life.

Service (Celebration) went on quite long today. It didn't end right at 7pm but I left at 7:20pm (and it still hadn't ended :O) anyways, I went out to the altar today, I thought I should do it because I've been curious, too, about how Holy Spirit works. Many people went in front, all were speaking in tongues, I still refused to follow them though, deep down I knew if I did, I wouldn't be doing the right thing 'cause then I would be faking and lying to myself and God, wouldn't I? I wanted to let Holy Spirit itself does the work.

Apparently, everyone was speaking in tongues and I was silent, but with the desire to let Holy Spirit work in me. I don't know if it did. This was what I felt. I was asking for Holy Spirit to come to me, and I was praying really hard, everyone else was speaking in tongues, (I guess the person behind me did experience Holy Spirit, 'cause I heard a sudden gush of tongues- foreign language - it sounded kinda scary to me since I really didn't know what he was trying to speak and I could feel the power in it, like he was using all his might to speak because I could feel my hair getting a lil of his saliva, apparently. That's how 'intense' he was.) but that's not the point. The point was, after that, I myself felt strange. I felt really, really odd. Keep in mind that I was still praying despite of the distraction from behind, I felt something when he stopped! I really did, although I'm still not sure if it was Holy Spirit working, but when I was praying, my voice was trembling. Like I was just so close to gushing out some words, but instead, I was praying, but with a really, shaky voice. I couldn't control myself. I mean, I really don't know what happened, still. It felt strange, I didn't cry though, this time. I thought I would, but I didn't. The last time when I went to the altar I cried because I felt peace in me, I felt so guilty (or I don't know what it was.. ) I think it wasn't guilt, it was a desire, really - I still thank God for the Aunty who prayed for me (indirectly for my mother).

I've felt so much love from God I just wanna share to the people I love. Without God I wouldn't know how to love, I wouldn't know what is love. God is love.

 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13

Anywayyys, BK quiz today and I did very badly. I was really embarrassed and awkward in the morning I was so afraid I didn't know whether I could even go into the classroom to take the quiz since I was the only one who didn't wear school uniform (I didn't even know I should) - that made me felt more not belonged to CF - but I blame it all on myself since I haven't been attending CF lately and I didn't even go for the briefing the other day.

I was so grateful because after I prayed really hard, I wasn't kicked out from the classroom and I managed to take the quiz. Although I did badly (in fact, the worst) I still was glad to meet the Sri Sempurna guys. I was their recorder and two of them trusted me in recording so they came to me during Semi-Finals too! I was so happy and flattered because when I was recording for them the first round I actually calculated wrongly, but one of them still said he trusted me anyway. So happy ^^. Oh, his name is Julian Sya (another one which I'm actually having a hard time trying to figure out how to pronounce) -what on earth, never heard of that surname before. Anyways, they got 3rd in the end! I tell you, that school is crazzzzzeh, everyone in that school who participated know the bible so well. I mean, they were all really good in BK(subjective/oral). ALL. I failed my BK -______- (it was in objective some more) Shame on me. LOL. I didn't get to finish reading what I had to. Always also like that, I'm not even surprised anymore.

;Til now I'm still wondering if speaking in tongues is supposed to be done in church. Hope God will answer one day, uhmm.

Labels: Church, prayer, Testimony

Last Saturday, I went to church for CG. It was BURNING HOT in the room because it's really small (it was our previous CG-E5 room and the number of members wasn't that MANY). So we were ALL soaking in our own sweat (I know right, ew) + we were playing physical activity for icebreaker ( ice that we really needed to break but apparently still stubbornly remain frozen, even with the PHYSICAL HEAT..) & since the air conditioner wasn't working really well - we didn't have the controller to adjust because it went missing, I guess.. OR had passed over to somebadeeeh and that person forgot to return.. AND because it's shared among the CGs hahahah. - we went down to the cafeteria after a round of sharing about how our weeks have been (said I'm here and I'm in to check ourselves in - LIKE AN INN/motel/hotel!) Nothing much happened in other people's life as well as mine except Ashwin (our new asst. CG leader) who is a very nice culinary guy and a good cook - I heard :) hmm food! :D but it was awkward when he said he heard John saying that I'm a very nice person, oh my gosh it was super duper awkward i didn't know what to say. I MEAN WHY WOULD JOHN SAY THAT. I miss John and the old CG so much, and Jehanne too! I miss baking with Jehanne! - My first ever, CG leader who was so mother-like! Hehehehe :P

Oh yea then we went to the cafeteria.. And we were asked to write a letter to our future self (or our end-of-the-year self) and open it on the 31st of December this year.. ahhaaha again, I tried to write a lot of nonsense so I will have something to laugh about later on. I'm so afraid I will be drifted away from my faith because that's what happens in my family - my dad, brothers. None of them held on to their faith. My eldest brother seems like he has the faith, he told me he knows who the real God is but when I asked him to go to church with me he insisted that I was forcing my family members to go, but honestly I wasn't, I was just asking very sincerely(a bit naggish), I didn't know why he thought I was forcing them, I felt sad after hearing that. He chose jogging over going to church. Indeed, maybe I was being quite annoying asking them to go, I tried my best to invite them every week but it didn't work so.. I will try on special days like Easter/Christmas. I was very thankful that they went on Christmas day. It definitely was a great testimony for me. Yup, I hope someone is praying for me that my faith will be so much stronger and that I won't backslide in the future, because that's what I pray for myself every night.

CG was not as good as what I expected but I'm glad I've met Ashwin! I heard he isn't a 2nd generation Christian too, that's why I thought he was inspiring since he still is believing God. It's true that a lot of people have been so faithful in high school but have become atheists after going to college. That just shows how the world can influence you so badly, swiftly. You just have to keep holding on to your faith because it will save you from eternal sufferings..

For by grace you have been saved through faith.

That keeps popping in my head whenever I talk about faith.

It was an eye opener to see how CG was so different last week than any other CG meetings I've gone to every other week. It was so fashion&technologically influenced. People were holding their handphones calling people right after the CG ended (IT ENDED SUPER EARLY, when I saw the clock on the cafeteria it was only 3:30pm.) I thought Ashwin said he was gonna ask us what we're still doing in CG but I guess he forgot about it so he didn't ask LOL. And CG-E4 is so different oh my goodness :o there are so many talkative people (not in a bad way) I think it's because they know Ashwin really well.. somehow I think my CG and I were as if a level lower than theirs, I mean, worldly-influenced wise.

CG is never the same anymore, sigh..

I think God is planning something better ahead. I hope and I believe.

We're painting Easter eggs and writing some messages next week! It's gonna be legend-wait for it-dary!

Anyway sermon after that was good! It was preached by Pastor Chris! :D He sang as if he was in RedBox with us LOL. It was so nice to hear him sing. And he was saying how in the bible, not everyone ended well and our purpose is to end well in life. So yea, being faithful is important, really important.

Labels: Church

Labels: Camp, Church, Trip