//  visiting,
visitors since 03102011

because I know you love me

bernicecheee.
Name♔ Bernice Chee Wai Yee
Nickname♔ Ber
Age♔ Eighteen(2014)
Birthday♔ 13th of September
Height♔ Too short to be revealed
Weight♔ Around 40kg.
Nationalist♔ Malaysian
Race♔ Chinese
Religion♔ A follower of Christ & a child of God :)

Anyeongggg.
God loves you and He created the beautiful you and the jaw dropping universe. You are beautiful and unique in your own way so don't you doubt that. :D

"Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God."Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. - Luke 12:6-7

Click the following links to know more about me!

LEO blog | KRS blog | KRS FB page


Beverly Chee (tumblr) | Caryl Tan | Celine Gan | Chong Yew Han | Chong Zi Qi | Fiona Wong | Fong Yee Li | Gabrielle Lee (tumblr) | Jane Ng | Jonee Wee | Liew Wei Chi | Lim Jo Ann | Lee Kyleen | Loh Pei Zhen | Low Lih Jia | Marianne Ho (tumblr) | Nicole Ng | Ng Li Xin | Poo Kah Wai | Sara Soo | Stanleigh Jenkins | Tan Pei Ru | Tan Xin Wei | Tan Xiu Ling |

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DO YOU EVEN HAVE A HEART?? I helped you when you stopped by asking me questions and that’s what you returned me? With a stupid swollen THING? YOU. GO. DIE. PLEASE! Should’ve whacked it until it gets more swollen than it was before man. And readers, you wont know how misery my life is, this is the SECOND time I met a flasher. Both, stupid lifeless flashers, unfortunately, are CHINESE. Such shameless thing to do to get an ‘impression’ from people. I don’t want to curse people but I wish he could die or got bang by a car like NOW. Stupid guy! Or, you’re not a guy you stupid SISSY ASS.

Anyway, yeah I walked home. I saw Jun Sheng, Jeremy Wong, the-athlete-you-can-find-on-2010-Samudra-olahraga-page-the-one-with-Angie-guy, Eu Lim and his friend, Ji Yan and Kar Weng in SK corner on the way home. And a stupid silly no brain flasher. Wish I was rational enough to do as what Puan Faridah taught me, shout FLASHER FLASHER and he'll be scared. But unfortunately no one was around ): I wanted to cry when I got home but I didn't, thank God. I just wonder why the heck guys want to do that. To show how big it is? Oh hello, it's only swollen, who wants to see it. Get a life. Oh or you thought you were a manly man. Oh please. Yours? No one wants it. You're a stupid no ass no brain no nose no hair no eyes, no heart, no anything fella, who wants to see it. Dumbass, no ass!

Sigh guys. What are you ALL thinking about? Are you ALL that perverted? I hope not. 'Cause I really think there's no real marriage now. Especially with guys? I'd rather be with no one. Only with God around everything will be okay. Maybe it's God's plan. Sigh, let it be. He'll get punished. Let's hope there wont be another victim..

Still remember how he honked me. Shouldn't have stopped by and let him touch my hand. He's so dirty minded. I bet his hand is also dirty. His whole body! NONE IS CLEAN! With how he called me. "Girl, girl." Ew, I thought he was friendly. With how gentle he looks like, EW. With his fingers going to his pants, unzipping. EW. With him asking me, where is the place where sell woods and things like that. EW. With how he asked me which school I came from. EW. With how he asked me how old I am. EW. He has no life. Ugh. And I'm so stupid I answered him. EW.

He's... just.. BRAINLESS.

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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Ignore the title. :D

Let me talk about my life. It has been a week since my last update (: Oh hello people! Wait I think I shall rearrange the sentence! TAKE 2!

Oh hello people! It has been a week since my last update (: Let me talk about my life!

Sounds better, smooth-er! :D

So my life was good? I think. Okay let me talk about last Thursday. What did I do? Err. I was kinda busy doing Leo booklets. Spent like weeks to get it done and it turned out, as what Alex said, the guests were impressed. Who the heck cares whether it's true or not :) But of course I hope I did well! Oh and heck yeah I get to claim my money back from Zhan Yeh! *turns around and cheers*

Anyway, Leo installation was awesome! At least, for me :D 'cause I get to stand on the stage and shake everyone's hand :P It was like, I mean, I was feeling like a star. Not the bright and nice ones you can see at night in the sky but! A star, a celebrity :D I feel honored to be chosen as an Asst. Treasurer, but heck, I'm very bad at money. I think money hates me or something, they LOVE to run away from me. They always get disappeared :( Like BOOM, the next second, it's gone! So I hope throughout next year, I get to build up my relationship with $$, :)

Performances on that day. Tricia's voice is powerful ; Sasha's voice is sweet!

Oh my goodness I think I'm the most useless person on Earth! I've been forgetting to bring the Leo T-shirt order form for like 3 freaking days already. :/ I still have so little time to promote the shirt :O Anyway! Today was KRS interview for future BODs. It was SCARY. Scary you know scary :/ Naj was like :| almost all the time. I wish, I knew him better :O at least I hope he doesn't hate me :( But all I know is he likes Jia Yi so much :) And it's so obvious he only listens to Jia Yi.. I'm not jealous or what.. -.- But LOL why did I notice that everyone in the BOD hates him? :O Is he that bad? No right. Maybe he didn't really care about us which, I don't really care if he cares about us or not, so basically, I don't care about anything HAHA :) Come on, relax guys, he's not gonna eat you (: But his face might :p Nah, just kidding!

Tomorrow, KRS meeting and Leo meeting are clashed :( But Pn. Chung will be there observing the Leo meeting, so of course I chose to go to Leo one.. Which, I get quite uncomfortable when I meet people which I don't really know :( And am afraid that they'll hate me or something? :O

Since I'm irresponsible, and usually super quiet and stoned during meeting? :(

Oh so dead ,seriously, everyone is holding a book wherever they go. Kill me. I gotta go have my dinner. It's 8.30pm. Hungry like heck (:

See you my blog. Loveeeeeee (:

Sincerely, Bernice!

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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What do you think about this song? I think it's quite good. HAHA. It's stuck in my head now!

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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Seriously, what the heck is wrong with the world? Or what the heck is wrong with him? Or me? Why do I feel so weird when he sent me a goodnight text? I mean, maybe I've forgotten the feeling I get whenever he text-ed me, or I really don't like him anymore. Or is it weird for someone to send a goodnight text randomly and asks me to sleep well with a LONG-eyed smiley face? =) <-- this one. Oh whatever. I'm fed up with all the undone/never-gonna-come-true promises. If this time, he really manages to wait for me until I'm 18 years old? There's a BIG chance for me to... accept him all over again, to my life? Uh, no just kidding. It's very hard, really. For a guy who hurt me for like 5 times, at least. I've totally 0 confidence. Unless, this year, IF he remembers my birthday, I'll smile, 'cause he NEVER remembers my birthday. :) If he forgets it, I'm very sure, I'll NEVER gonna accept him, forever. I mean, hello, he knows me for 4 years + and he forgot my birthday EVERY year. That's kinda disappointing, isn't it?

Trials is on the 18th of August. And trust me, EVERY single soul has started to crumple their books. No, seriously, you can go to my school to observe it. For that kind of aroma around me, how can I still sit here to blog about my daily boring life?

But let me bring you to a fun part. We're planning all the after-PMR activities already. Hooray :) Laser Tag! Aaron invited Amar to our conversation. He was like, do you wanna join us for laser tag after PMR?! then Amar went : What's that? We were like HAHAHAHA. ('cause his expression was epic.) Then Kyleen said : Didn't you watch How I Met Your Mother?? If you did, you'll know what a laser tag is. Then I was like HAHAHAHA all the way. Cause Kyleen is in love with Barney Stinson (not Neil Patrick Harris tho. :D) Kyleen always says she's not in love with Barney because he's gay, or at least, Neil Patrick is. So, for your information, she likes Joe Brooks, David Choi and Barney Stinson :) She's a nice girl, if you start talking to her. Which I totally suggest you to do it 'cause she's one of the smartest person I know. Another one, Zoe, a very talented person. I find her cute when she's blur ahaha :) BESTIES yo!

Heading on, uhmm, my maid just threw RM60. Like really, the lottery ticket, 60 bucks, gone. Which I felt bad because I saw it the other day but didn't care. I didn't get mad when mom scolded me because it was part of my fault.. :( I'm sorry mummy! You've to get extra RM60 from your purse D:

Trials, I'm so dead. I still have homework! Essay! Don't tell me you're sorry cause I'm dead! LOL. Okaywhatever. Leo installation is on this Saturday! Gah, I need to skip church :( and I need to be there by 12.30pm! Stay back after everything. I need sponsorship! Who's willing to sponsor? :(

Lovessss... :) ♥

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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Shoot me, KILL ME. I'm the one who destroyed the formation! :( I checked up so slow and didn't hentak that part before check up :( AND. I didn't turn where I supposed to because I'm SO useless! Why am I not a fast learner.. :( Ignore the vulgar in that video, please :) KILL ME OH MY GOODNESS. Everything shows that I'm good at NOTHING :( Maybe I'm only good at sleeping, 'cause I'm sleepy now. I shall go to bed. BYE..

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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I didn't wanna update today.. But since, I just cried AGAIN, so I decided to talk about it :) Yes, again, I cried yesterday, for something.. I forget what it is, but for something.. Er.. Or at least I think I did cry for something.. I'm really forgetful. Crying is like a daily routine for me now.

I'll just go straight to the point. It's about my mom. Sometimes, my mom won't be punctual. Punctual as in, when she fetch me from tuition? On Mondays? Yeah, I always wait for her like at least 40 minutes. Sometimes, I gotta say, she's early, and yeah, that makes me happy too. Since I can go home early. But today, 40 minutes.. I didn't feel happy about it. I mean, who will be happy to wait like an idiot? (wow that sounds familiar. I've once asked the one I loved and the one that claimed that he loves me to wait for me until I'm 18. But of course it didn't work. He's too desperate to be in a relationship.) Yeah, so I didn't smile when I answered her question just now. Or.. since last month. (Because I swear our relationship is getting further apart, and the cause? Maybe it's because she's not at home most of the time? ) What do you expect me to do? Laugh when I'm answering her? No. I used to but not anymore. I'm so stressed out and I'm tired. I can't smile in front of you. When you don't even know how much I tried to avoid things you asked me not to do. 1. Not to be in a relationship until I enter university/start working. Oh, not avoid.. but still, 2. Study because you always compare. (I know all mothers do that, but I'll still be stressed about it.) 3. I never told you my ambition, because I'm trying so hard to achieve it (not really) but what if you know it and you tease me and all? You know being not supported by your own family members is how horrible?

Yes, anyway, I'm tired of all the sudden-care and don't-care-at-all thing. I know all parents are afraid that their own children will be kidnapped cause the world out there now is terrible. But, what's with the 'no'. Why don't you trust me that I'll take care of myself? That God will protect and bless me because I'm His child in Christ? I believe that God will protect me. And what if I really got kidnapped? That might be God's plan. Who knows? And even if I got killed. What's so scary about death? I may go to a better place.. a place where God knows how awesome it is. :) Maybe you'll think I'm selfish because I don't think about others. And yeah you'll say there are people out there who care and worry about me.. But imagine if I got killed. At least I'll be with God. Death is not very scary after all. Oh back to the main topic, sometimes you don't even care about what I'm doing. You don't even know what I've been doing recently, do you?

And I answered you the way you think it's rude you just started scolding me when I say I'm tired. I wanted to sleep but you screamed and asked me to go and get my dinner first. Yeah I did. But I was really sad that I cried. Why wouldn't you just let me rest for a while? What's wrong with sleeping? I mean, really? (Oh and thank God my bro helped me a little, he said I slept at 3am and had marching practice until 4pm. Never knew he's that awesome, thanks Julian Chee :D) And surprisingly, just now in the afternoon he waited me for like 20 minutes and he didn't get angry at ALL. He's really.. awesome sometimes. LOL. Anyway. :) I cried when I was eating. How miserable HAHA :D

To someone, I didn't wanna call you because I know you'll read my blog. I mean, when I'm crying I can't say a single word. So why do I even wanna let you waste your time to listen to the way I cry? HAHAHAHA. Reasonable right :D

After the dinner, after the awesome bitter gourd soup ( I don't know why I liked it, I never liked bitter gourd, but my heart felt so warm when I drank it :D) I felt better. Don't worry. I'll be alright. Crying is definitely a good way to express my feelings. Blogging is the next medicine :D

I still have tons of things to do. Leo booklets, homework, sleep . etc. :(

By the way, it's 9.10pm. I'm dead sleepy. Goodnight. :)

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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Right, first Hokkien song ever appeared in my blog, because I love this song so much :) "geh au" means wife. It's a very very nice love song :D

This song is dedicated to all husbands out there yo :)

Meaning of the song is something like that: -

"When we grow older, and if we have no kids around. We'll be sitting on a bench, and you'll be bragging about your childhood awesome time. I won't care about having a good life, I'll never complain. Your hands, I'll hold them tight, 'cause I'm your wife." etc. :) Wanna know? Ask me, hokkien pro HAHA. Joking, not really pro. Edwina taught me a lot :p

Too bad my mom seldom sing this song... :(

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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I don't have anything to blog about actually, I just want to online! :D Smart right. Pretend to blog because I want to slack. I mean, I have not started studying yet. Oh, I still have tons of homework to do :S I don't know why I didn't feel like going to church today. I mean, for cell group.. I feel like killing myself when I said I'm lazy to go for cell group - XYZ where all cell groups gather together.. I thought I didn't receive Jehanne's message! Until I clicked to read messages and I saw an unknown number, I read it.. And it's her! Stupid phone, or stupid me! :( I woke up at 1.30pm. Yes, see how ridiculous my life is? I had my lunch at 4pm, because my dad drove all the way from Shah Alam just to stopped by Ming Tien and bought us food. Yess, then he went out after that.. My brother could've just gone to Ming Tien, and it'd be faster.. Like maybe I could even eat before CG starts. Yeah, I said no. I said I'm lazy to go.. Something evil's controlling me. Since yesterday, I don't know why, I got very sad when Siew Chin wanted to sign off because she wanted to sleep. I mean, what the heck is wrong with me? People want to sleep then just let her sleep la. Not like I'm not gonna see her in school, except it's really hard to talk to her in school because we're in different class. How can I be SO selfish, so I just decided to sign out first. They thought I was angry. One part of me WAS angry, another part of me felt guilty to be angry. Then I thought I had multiple personality, and it's quite scary, but think of it, if I had multiple personality I would created another name for myself, I didn't, so I don't think I've multiple personality disorder :O No nah, just kidding, although I didn't tell them I was feeling so bad (you know I've never felt that bad before. The 'bad' does not mean I did something wrong and I felt bad. It's not that. It's another one, you know... uhm, my day is very bad.. yes that kind of bad. Okay, I've never felt worst.) I told God though. I just told them I was okay. I'm just pure selfish. :(

And after that I found myself an excuse. Because I wanted to sleep so badly, but I still continue online-ing since Siew Chin was in a bad mood. But when she said she wanna sleep I just felt so weird, er, I-can-stay-up-for-her-why-she-can't feeling. I figured, maybe it's not a mutual thing. So I tried to forget it :)

I don't know why.. I don't know how to control my emotions. It's VERY hard for me to smile. Seriously what's wrong with me? Do I hate the aroma of my house so much or what? I can go to school and laugh like an idiot but not at home. I don't want to stay in my house. Or live. But think of it, people out there don't even have a place to live! Why am I complaining? I guess, to appreciate what I have is really hard.. But I'll still appreciate every single friend I have. YAY. :) I feel so troubled omg. The something that's controlling me, you'll NEVER win, get out of my body you faggot! (LOL what's a faggot anyway? Is it a bad word? If it is, TELL ME OKAY!)

Today in the celebration, I learned that saying 'Oh my God' is not wrong. It's just us, human being, we'll sometimes say it because of the force in our body that leads us to say a prayer like this.. 'Cause we need God's help in that particular moment. :) And also, we prayed for Malaysia :) Senior Pastor Dr. Daniel Ho said today is a wonderful day for Malaysia :D It is, 'cause we have people who are willing to clean politics to let Malaysia to be a better country :D

Well, I'm done! :D YAY. Bye!

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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Anyway, today.. there was a speech going on in the hall :O

It's about mental.. stuff :)

There's something about self personalities.

Firstly, some people just don't say "NO" even when their hearts say so. Example, when people ask for help, you'll say : can/sure/okay even when you've no time for them but you'll still say yes. and will try your best.

Secondly, some people feel sorry/bad very quickly. Example, when it's not your fault, you still feel bad.

Thirdly, some people put their expectations too high. Example, you know you can't do that, but you still force yourself to do that, and when the results are out, you'll be very disappointed, because what you expect you'd get does not seem to happen.

There are still more, I can't recall. But, I've that feeling, its ALL talking about me! (or do I have multiple personality?) :(

The one who explained these said that these kind of people will get sad very easily.. It's kind of true actually. I should really change myself. :)

Off to get ready for tuition. :D Bye.

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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Rights. Often hear 'em say its their rights to do something. Often see some who don't do what they should do, maybe it's just because of the society. Nowadays, humans are so mean, they're slowly going further from God too. Maybe it's humans who are being mean to these poor people. Everything now is just money money money. Where's the love?

I've learned something in school today. I mean, it's like an every week thing. Pn. Faridah will tell us the values in life, what we shouldn't/should do.. etc. She talked about rights today.. and more interesting stuff :D She's really a GOOD teacher :) I used to not like her.. because she gave me that impression that she's fierce and not friendly, maybe she is when you don't behave well, but she's really the OPPOSITE of what you ALL think she acts like :) She can be really friendly and funny you know :D

She said : "Rights, when it affects other people, its not rights anymore." Because we were talking about basic needs in life - Food, clothing and shelter. :) She asked us if we believe that there are people in Malaysia who don't have enough food, that they were eating grains all this time.. It's sad to know.. It's in the news today. Grains, which we don't eat, only.. animals like ducks, swans, chickens and etc, they eat grains. Also, few years ago, a guy was found in Kelantan that he's been living in a cave all the time.. And we're all here enjoying food.. or worse, wasting food. 'Cause I used to do that.. I did this, and I'll never forget it 'cause I did this without even thinking about others. I.. put it in a plastic bag and throw it somewhere outside my house.. I feel SO bad now. I should've finished eating it. Ugh. I'm so childish. Or I was. Or.. maybe I'll do that again :( Just hope I won't. And Africans, teacher said 14 year old girls don't even have their breasts. Because breasts are fats, according to what she said.

She said : "If you want your rights, then you have to do what you should do first." Without going like "hey, it's my rights to scold you." when you, yourself don't even respect others? So she said "If it hurts others, its not rights." It's so true. What she's been saying all these while.. everything was so true that no one dares to say anything.

Rights. To get food, clothing and shelter :) Bye bye people. Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows :D

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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Today, we had this super awesome speech going on in school! It's about life, love and sex. :)

THIS video. I've watched it many times, but every time I watch it I'll be grateful for what I have. I may not have something others have.. but I'm sure I'll live life happily without that :D

There are some quotes I found them interesting. :)

"Love waits. Lust wants. Love can't wait to give what is true and honorable. Lust can't wait to take. Love mends. Lust hurts. Love is secure. Lust is selfish. Lust ends. Love lasts."

A way to know you're in love or not? Read this, and understand it :D

Unconditional love is devotion based on commitment and unselfish concern for one another. It freely accepts another in loyalty and seeks his or her good. Love is patient.

There's a poem, which, I love it 'cause it's meaningful. And Kyleen says it's from the bible :)

Love is patient and kind.

Love is not jealous or boastful.

Love is not proud or rude.

Love does not demand its own way.

Love is not irritable or hold grudges.

Love does not support injustice.

Love never gives up and love endures through every circumstance.

:D

The purpose of dating is to get to know one another, enjoy time together and develop a friendship. In the dictionary, a date is described as an appointment, a social engagement arranged beforehand. By its definition, a date does not necessarily imply a "serious relationship."

"I do." With those two simple words, a man and a woman begin to build one of the most remarkable things on the face of the earth: a marriage and a new family.

7 common errors that lead to a faulty mate selection:

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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You know when you do something, something you thought you can never do it.. You need that push and courage? I know whatever I'm doing now might be tough. One part of me just keeps scolding myself that I'm stupid and all, but another part of me is congratulating me.. saying that : 'Bernice, you finally did it.' And I tell you, it's not easy to live without a phone and Facebook. Well, maybe I just need time. Literally without a phone, since, it doesn't support wifi. And hey, Unifi is useless for me now. What I can do now is only blogging. I know I'm dumb kay, there's a bestie/champion out there waiting for me to tell my life time stories but I preferred to let the only way to communicate with this one particular person to.. how do you say this.. uhmm.. go off? Okay whatever, I'm seriously not a human. Fb messaging was absolutely useful to me. I used it whenever I'm sad, happy, angry.. Oh well. Now its ALL gone. :'( My phone! Now I have to on the computer to read blogs? That's seriously not a right thing to do. Julian Chee Tze Hoe, you should be grateful to have me as your sister! Mummy bought Blackberry for me and you offered to exchange your phone with me? When you know I can't say no because of the stupid PMR? PMR, you're making me so stressed. And I'm totally going crazy soon. I want to burst into tears, NOW!

Oh the first reason I decided to deactivate my Facebook account was because, Jing Wei asked me to do so! Since you know, she deactivated hers. (Oh I deactivated mine but it's temporary though, I can just log in and everything will be back to normal. They'll say there : "Welcome back!" I just tried it, it's quite useless, but, I'm not gonna touch it until after PMR!) Second reason? I feel kinda bad for someone's accident. I really really feel like killing myself for putting their lives all in danger. Just because I like to talk to someone, but I can't be so selfish right? ): Yeahhh, so after I deactivated my Facebook account I really thanked God for giving me the strength to deactivate it.

Maybe, self-control is really important. Or maybe because Jing Wei motivated me. Or maybe.. the things that happened like my results got worse (is it? Since I got C for so many subjects! Sejarah and Geography! Pn Tang told my dad that I need to work hard on my academic! My dad was like pointing, hey Bernice, work harder. D: Then my mom was like.. play computer everyday some more la! My eldest bro was like "do you think you can get straight A's in PMR") and the accident! I'm so stressed you know ): Everything around me is slowly tearing me into pieces!

And plus my new discovered ambition - life saver! Studying medicine! I want to become a neurologist, like those doctors who saved my uncle's life! I'd work in the government hospital since Pn. Faridah said nowadays the government hospitals are lacking of doctors? I want to get scholarship! I have to. Both of my brothers didn't. And my parents are always stressing out about money! My brother just failed 2 subjects! Graduating 6 months late because he didn't really study, kept going to Ciber Cafe! And waste my mom's money! Although it's kind of impossible to get scholarship. For me. That had been in 3rd class in my whole life in primary school? Oh and, I don't like Science! With all the explanations? Oh pleaseee! I'll sure be studying science if I'm going to take medicine! That's only my dream to save the world. And you know government hospitals? They watch TV and eat snacks in the ICU room! Which it's the thing I hate >:( about them! I want to make the world a better place! But all of them, ugh, it's impossible for me to save the world. I'll be all emotional if I can't save anyone. Or maybe I shall really do what Sarah did, pray to God to ask Him what I should be.. She's studying medicine! I want to be like her! Optimistic and helpful and kind :) At least, half.

I'll be back on Facebook after PMR. Wait for me people! <3 and using my brother's phone is not really a bad thing :) At least I can still text right? :) If only there's a person who doesn't mind spending all his/her credits on me :O

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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When Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the ^[a]mountain; and after He sat down, His disciples came to Him. ² He opened His mouth and began to teach them, saying,

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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