"look back & learn"

Title: Surrender, when our feet fail.

Sunday, October 27, 2013 || 1:32 AM

At times like this, I just feel like hugging the Bible and cry out to God. I don't know why I'm feeling left out, I think this is how everyone else (the inactive CG members) feels too? I'm such an attention seeker hahaha, of course I hope no one will read this post because well, it's too personal to be read. What I was feeling just now, hahaha I guess I was just jealous that the whole CG went publika without me! After ranting I suddenly remembered how nice my CG leader had been treating me, but I still chose study over spending time with 'em and God, and ended up wasting my six hours (to and fro KL is about one hour?) & I honestly think I didn't learn anything, so I voiced out my opinion but still ended up being.. well, I just thought ranting a bit would help, well, I couldn't leave myself thinking positively when I honestly had learned nothing, except maybe knowing that there's a new format and paper one questions are repeated that's all, HONESTLY. And if I've known voicing up my opinion would lead to seeming like I was thinking in a negative way then well I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything in the first place.

You see, I'm just tired of trying to fit it. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Call me sensitive, but I really thought about what I said and still think I didn't learn anything. How does my negative way of thinking affect the whole situation? I know how I couldn't turn back time or anything, but one thing I've learned from what you said is to be grateful that we reached safely there.

LOL, back to the CG part, CG members were ALL uploading their photos of themselves having dinner at Publika. Maybe being an introvert, I've strived to fit it, and I'm just tired of mixing with them and yea, actually feel nervous talking to them because they are famous people at church that kinda thing. What do you do if you can't fit in, be it among school friends or even supposedly-to-be-really-close siblings in Christ? I've to admit that the CG is really big, and it's really hard to take care of everyone's needs, I'm just glad I'm accountable for Esther and that she shares and rants to me whenever she feels stressed or sad, I'd be happy and at the same time, would be learning more about God myself speaking to her as I try to comfort her.

Thing about me is that it's hard for me to open up. So whenever I'm so close to open up I will just lock everything in my heart so I won't be judged. You know, the fear of being judged because of your stories in the past, be it you're like that because of your family, or anything else like school friends or just anything else that would shape you in this lifetime. Just, your stories, you know. What that has been happening that makes you who you are today. I never stop thanking God that I've met Him, that's the greatest joy of mine, because no matter what happens, I would just think of Him, knowing that He's with me all the time, the Bible is so nice to hug because it's as if I'm hugging Him, being at His feet, surrendering my feelings, surrendering my stories, surrendering everything I think I'm tired of.

At times like this, no one understands, but Him.

It's amazing how ranting like this with a worship song would make me cry so much but leave me feeling so better already because this song is really consoling.

Con-SOUL-ing.

Sometimes you just gotta be wowed and amazed by how God is working. You will never know what comes to you until you surrender everything to Him. THIS, I was feeling so horrible but I stumbled to this blog. And here are some that relate so much now.

One of my favorite writers as of late, Shauna Niequist, writes about these seasons as “Thin Places.” It’s an ancient Celtic idea — of a place where the divide between divine and natural is thin, and God comes down to touch the earth, and His presence is nearly tangible. Brokenness can certainly bring us to that thin place — where God can, if we let him, come down to us and touch us in our broken state. When things seem to be falling apart all around us and inside us, God draws near with His presence. He might not fix things right away, but He is there, with us.

God, He never ceases to amaze me.

“Give up for a while your false and failing attempts at merriment, and thank God for thin places, and for Advent, for a season that understands longing and loneliness and long nights. Let yourself fall open to Advent, to anticipation, to the belief that what is empty will be filled, what is broken will be repaired, and what is lost can always be found, no matter how many times it’s been lost.” – Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet

Praise God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! The Father is a merciful God, who always gives us comfort. He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share this same comfort with others in trouble. We share in the terrible sufferings of Christ, but also in the wonderful comfort he gives. -2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Labels: Personal

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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Title: The term 'Allah'

Thursday, October 17, 2013 || 10:35 PM

Hi you, I'm a Malaysian. I love the food here, I love the people here, I love how Malaysia is a multi-racial country and every race including Malays, Indians, Chinese, etc live as ONE. We are all in fact supposed to be one, we were taught to respect each race, religion, belief, culture or just what belongs to a particular group. I was once proud of Malaysia, note that I'm not saying this because I want to leave this country, no matter how unreasonable some people may be, Malaysia is still a country that I love. The cool thing is, when I searched "multiracial country" on Google, Malaysia appeared at the top, most top top. Multi-racial, it makes Malaysia seems super cool. Needless to say, the food here are just so very awesome that Malaysians around the world would come back to Malaysia just to eat all the famous food here like Nasi Lemak, Roti Canai, or Asam Laksa, because feedback from them are that, no matter how hard people strive to learn our secret recipes for these famous dishes, the local ones are still the best, like if you ever want to make it big in other countries it just never attracts people. So, local food must be eaten here in Malaysia itself. NUFF SAID.

However, all these which are happening (things I never understood), seem to be revealing bit by bit as I grew older, just imagine you're peeling off onion skin for example, it just makes you cry. I don't know how I got that scenario in my head but it's what I'm feeling right now, which has led me to imagining and thinking more nonsense.

Just a few months back, we had our quadri-election OR pentelection HAHA! (I guess it's how you call it, sorry for my poor English - since it's not held annually and I don't know how you should describe it & since I haven't been blogging for a few months, forgive me.) Youths at my age who had never talked about politics (most of them) had their souls on fire about it because of their hatred towards corruption, the diamond ring *coughs* -maybe she did save up, if you are on her side - the other negative deeds the government did for the past years.

That, we were all really disappointed with the result, honestly, but we're all never gonna give up until Malaysia becomes clean again one day. Sadly, it's impossible to be 100% clean no matter which party takes over, but of course we believe that the other would do a better job, but it's still human nature they're dealing with. Temptations come, hearts which aren't guarded will be tempted by the God of this world, you-know-who.

Since 2009, (if I'm not mistaken, I'm never a news person so I don't know anything that is happening except when huge unreasonable ridiculous issues like.. which makes me just wanna laugh at this country so badly) the term "Allah" had been brought up to court. The usage of the word "Allah" is now banned for the Bahasa Malaysia speaking Christians especially in Sabah and Sarawak. For more information, click here (how Muslims think about the term 'Allah'. I feel really sad because as a Malaysian, I wouldn't feel happy if there are arguments among races or even riots which ruin what supposed to be known as a peaceful country. If Islam means "peace", why do they have to make things so ugly now? By assuming that Christians have the intention to convert or create confusion among the Muslims, this issue is brought to the court? When in reality, "Allah" had been used before Malaysia was formed, even before Islam was introduced. I really really don't understand what the world is thinking but I guess only God knows. Leaders accepting trends just to win votes, gain fame, to be liked by the crowd.. Are these what you do to go live eternally with God after this temporary life on earth? If you're an Atheist then I'm sorry, maybe I don't know why you believe that this universe are made up of atoms, but continue believing in that and I hope someone is praying for you, no matter how strong your beliefs are, prayers are still powerful in my opinion.

If you're wondering why can't Bahasa Malaysia speaking Christians use the word 'Tuhan' instead, Tuhan means Lord, if you strictly translate it. So for verses from the Bible like "The Lord your God.." will mean Tuhan Tuhan kamu, which will be confusing for them. For better understanding I will be pasting something else here down below, and if you're curious about what's happening and why Christians are so eager to protect the usage of this word for Malay speaking Christians in Malaysia. (:

- This is obvious in just one example. In Isaiah chapter 41 and verse 13; also 43 : 3 and 51 : 15. "For I am the LORD, your GOD..." is translated as "Akulah TUHAN, ALLAH kamu...". (ALKITAB : Berita Baik. 2001.2nd edition. Published by the Bible Society of Malaysia).

- It creates an absurd situation if Christians have to translate the biblical phrase ‘Lord God’ as Tuhan Tuhan. The repeated words Tuhan Tuhan indicates plural in Bahasa Malaysia, and creates the impression that Christians believe in many Gods, which is unacceptable.

Part of the article by Christian Federation of Malaysia:- (I'm not sure if I'm legally allowed to paste the long passage here but since it's states that it's for distribution to churches in Malaysia so I guess I will only show you guys parts of it, and if you would want to read the whole article, which includes the origin, and when, why, how Christians use the word 'Allah', please DO tell me and ask me for it!

Language

Objections to the use of the word ‘Allah’ comes mostly from political discourse, or
those who argue that the translation and usage of the word is a recent decision. This is not true for the following reasons:
1. In Semitic languages, the word ‘Allah’ has been widely used in the Middle East dating back to the 5th century BC and up to the time of the expansion of Islam and the spread of the Arabic language in the 7th century AD.
2. The translation of the Al-Kitab is not from the English translation but based on the Hebrew and Greek text of the Bible. In the Hebrew language, the word ‘God’ has the same root form as the Arabic language. So, when the word ‘God’ was first translated into Bahasa Malaysia, the translators merely followed the Arabic Christian usage and retained the word ‘Allah’.
3. As stated earlier, the word ‘Allah’ pre-dates Islam. It is not a creation of the Muslims and its existence does not begin in the Al-Quran.

These quoted, boxed informations are NOT from me, but if you would want to know more or read more about it, please tell me about it so I can send you the email of it to you. (: SEE YOU because I spent a lot of time blogging, I didn't study! D: Goodnight and don't be stressed out and just leave everything to God! :D

Posted by Bernice with love.♥
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