"look back & learn"

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Forgiveness is a gift, it definitely is.

I realised it's hard for me to forgive people, really really hard. I don't know how God does it, I don't know how I did it to some people even though they have hurt me for quite a number of times. (maybe I don't love them that much, who knows?)

Firstly, it's for a person who wanted to slap me in the face because of the 'annoyance' of mine asking him to stop smoking. If I were only trying to bug him around because of MY HAPPINESS, I wouldn't even try my very best to even say out a single word. This is a person who doesn't do what he has promised me. He continues on doing what he thinks he's right. What can I say when he gets so annoyed of what I think it's the best for him? I can't do anything, right? Furthermore I don't want him to think I SUPPORT him for doing so. I washed dishes for him and told him to wash them by himself because I said how my mom is doing everything for us but he asked me to shut up. Oh right, I'm not a perfect human, what can I do when things happened this way?

To forgive is not as easy as you think, my friend. It's not that this is happening to you.

This another person who SHOULD be responsible for what he has done, has never shown what should be showing to his 'beloved'. He's the most irresponsible person I've ever known. How he told me he loves me and all, are only sayings that never will be shown in action. What he does is only to hurt. His immaturity is amazing. All he can say to me is only sorry, but what did he do after he said that? Nothing. He continued on what he's doing, he knows he's wrong but he still continues it. Not only that he's hurting his beloved, he's hurting himself too. Amazing, I'm very impressed by however and whatever and whichever way he thinks. It's really OUT OF BOX.

Just don't guess blindly, people. You'll never know what has been happening in my life. Everyone has their own stories who they don't wanna share. I feel so lonely and depressed that I've to only keep these to myself because no one can help me, only God can.

I've to even cry soundlessly in the toilet with the water flowing so that no one can hear me crying, isn't it sad?

Okay though all this really sounded emotional but I know I'm going to be okay. It's just another boring lame post that no one will understand. Please tell me what can I do to forgive these two persons that I have always wanted to forgive, but it's just too tough.

I know I can do it by loving, it's still hard. I'll try my best even though I may have mental breakdown someday, but God will always be there for me.

KthankBye.

Goal of my life - To..

Labels: Personal

Sulphur + Oxygen, I've been hearing things like :"I ASKED YOU TO UPDATE YOUR BLOG, Y U NO DO IT??", "What has happened to you, really? Why isn't there an update?" (only from two people though!) Oxygen + Potassium, here I am talking nonsense but hope you don't mind.

Excuse me for being so Chemistry-minded today, just came back from Chemistry tuition 2 hours ago. And all I can think of now is Chemistry. Yes, and that brings me to my Chemistry homework which I obviously still haven't touched it. And again it brings me to my results. I really did so badly, I'm upset but surprisingly I still kinda 'rejoiced', I mean, really, I feel the peace in me. I've been so, peaceful these days I don't know why. Wait, maybe I do. Sasha always talks about her peace from God, I guess I actually have that too.

Unbelievable right? How I never cry even though it's my first time failing Sejarah. I didn't get too sad over it. From a positive perspective, it actually tells me that I've to work harder ▬ for every single subject. I still pray that I'd get a better result for end year examination.

I've this REALLY cool shirt, which on it, it is written


Yup! So I wore it to tuition (still wearing it because I'm a smelly unhygienic person who hasn't get bath at 12:31 am during a school week), there are like pictures of a shoe(more like a boot but whatever), 6, a door and hen on it. Manoj and William enjoyed(I THINK, I HOPE) seeing me wearing that shirt because they kept wanting to read it aloud. And they were like .. "Nine, ten, a big fat..
chicken??" HAHAHAHAHA, and I said something like "NO it's HEN" then they kinda cheered happily because they got the right word. LOL (okay I exaggerated it, they didn't) but they were like kids. :O

NOT IMPLYING THAT WHOEVER THAT SAYS THIS IS A KID, ESPECIALLY THE ONE WHO'S WEARING IT, THAT PERSON IS THE MOST MATURED PERSON, EVER.
Geddit? I meant I'm a matured girl. :D

Talking about hensss, it leads me to another thing, THE DUCK FACE.
Well, what so nice about it. It looks extremely awful, don't you think?


Isn't this cuter? The donkey face? In addition, it actually sounds better. DONK- KEY.


*looks more like a deer to me* *coughs* It's staring at you.. OOPS.
Right, blame me for putting it to scare off you guys.

Bye, it's late I need to take my sweet time showering and then have a good sleep. :)

-not planning to do homework, obviously.