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bernicecheee.
Name♔ Bernice Chee Wai Yee
Nickname♔ Ber
Age♔ Eighteen(2014)
Birthday♔ 13th of September
Height♔ Too short to be revealed
Weight♔ Around 40kg.
Nationalist♔ Malaysian
Race♔ Chinese
Religion♔ A follower of Christ & a child of God :)

Anyeongggg.
God loves you and He created the beautiful you and the jaw dropping universe. You are beautiful and unique in your own way so don't you doubt that. :D

"Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God."Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. - Luke 12:6-7

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Title: feeling low..? it's okay!

Sunday, November 20, 2011 || 12:53 PM

Feeling so down now.. I just came back from church. My elder brother was the one who fetched me home.. He's always the one who's fetching me around.. & finally got so pissed off. I know how he has his own activities, freedom and time.. I know I shouldn't be so selfish to ask him to fetch me around.. Why do I feel like I'm not here on Earth to be a person but to think that I shouldn't do this and that for other's happiness? Why is it so hard to be a normal person? Why am I so broken..? Why do I have.. well, although it's my blog but I can't tell you everything about me 'cause it's public. I need a driver.

All I want is just to go to church and learn more about God, but there are so many obstacles. I know God's trying hard to pull me to be closer to Him, but it's so hard to get near Him. You know I'm actually tired of asking my brother to fetch me around just as tired as he is to fetch me around. I know I'm troublesome. But unless I know how to drive.. The problem is I don't.. The problem is both of my parents are so busy that they don't even care about me. They are always busy doing their own stuff, searching their own happiness, they barely care about their own children. I know they think we're all grown ups, but don't they know we still need love? Well, I'm glad that I've God.

So many obstacles? What obstacles, you may be wondering.. I'm not from a Christian family. My dad's side and him are Roman Catholics, they believe in Mother Mary, my mom's side and my mom are Buddhists, they believe in many immortals. It's a tough journey to be a Methodist Christian (Protestant), I've to beg to go to a church camp, and relatives(dad's side) don't actually allow me to go to DUMC. Mom's okay with me going because she's not a strong Buddhist, but she still wants me to use joss sticks, which we Christians believe it's something like praying to other God so we're not allowed to hold joss sticks. She wants me to be good hearted (but not too good hearted.. sometimes I don't get her, she says I'm too kind.. -.- which I'm not..)

So although I've a maid, I don't eat at home on Saturdays and Sundays. It's my family's tradition to not eat at home on weekends. My parents are always out during the weekends.. My brother's always the one who will be taking care of my meal.. Sometimes I feel like I'm parentsless, like ugh, I'm not even 18 yet, I don't know how to drive, or anything. Plus I'm suck at seeking for directions, in other word, directionless. Anyway, I was supposed to eat with my dad today but because he has a wedding lunch so I don't have anything to eat. My mom's out for lunch with her friends in Puchong. I asked my maid for food and she asked me to ask my brother for food. I just wanted Maggie, I know maybe it's my fault to not cook it by myself. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO COOK THEN JUST TELL ME, don't have to shout to ask my brother to buy food for me. He's already pissed off. I can cook it myself. No one cares about me right? So even if I die when I'm cooking, it's also okay! I seriously want to just die and go to God.

Gosh, I'm so freaking tired of holding on my tears. 'Cause if I want to break down now, I can only do it quietly. Somemore now I've nose block because I can't breathe loudly. Crying sucks, it makes you have running nose, which is annoying. But don't worry, I'm okay now.

As promised, I'll post up pictures of kids today.. Here you go..