"look back & learn"

➫October 2008 ➫November 2008 ➫December 2008 ➫January 2009 ➫February 2009 ➫March 2009 ➫April 2009 ➫May 2009 ➫June 2009 ➫July 2009 ➫August 2009 ➫September 2009 ➫October 2009 ➫November 2009 ➫December 2009 ➫January 2010 ➫February 2010 ➫March 2010 ➫April 2010 ➫May 2010 ➫June 2010 ➫July 2010 ➫August 2010 ➫September 2010 ➫October 2010 ➫November 2010 ➫December 2010 ➫January 2011 ➫February 2011 ➫March 2011 ➫April 2011 ➫May 2011 ➫June 2011 ➫July 2011 ➫August 2011 ➫September 2011 ➫October 2011 ➫November 2011 ➫December 2011 ➫January 2012 ➫February 2012 ➫March 2012 ➫April 2012 ➫May 2012 ➫June 2012 ➫July 2012 ➫August 2012 ➫September 2012 ➫October 2012 ➫November 2012 ➫December 2012 ➫January 2013 ➫February 2013 ➫March 2013 ➫April 2013 ➫May 2013 ➫July 2013 ➫August 2013 ➫October 2013 ➫November 2013 ➫December 2013 ➫January 2014 ➫February 2014 ➫May 2014 ➫June 2014 ➫July 2014 ➫September 2014 ➫October 2014 ➫November 2014 ➫December 2014 ➫February 2015 ➫March 2015 ➫May 2015 ➫June 2015 ➫October 2015

I guess I shouldn't ditch this blog. So I'm back to blogging now. :] Well, I think I should blog, because, I should.

Hmm, I've been revealing myself too much on twitter! Too much of my emotions, feelings for someone -_-, whatever that were posted there, too much. Just because it's private I thought it's safe but in fact I should blog about it instead because no one reads my blog, I guess.

I, uh, suddenly, God knows why, think about a guy every single day. This guy, isn't really nice but IS nice (okay whaddakrep), he, uh, is nice. See, I don't even know his characteristics. He's a guy that I don't know well, a good friend that I never wanna lose(one of the reasons I would keep this secret admiration to myself instead of telling everyone like I used to -.-) I don't know why I just think it would really be horrible if I get ignored or rejected, I will never want things like that to happen. -___- And truth is the last time I fall in 'like' was five years ago so I'm like super drifted away from feelings, y'know kinda thing. Not knowing what to do, everything is just like the beginning. I'm very clueless and insecure about every single detail.

In addition, the promise of only being together with someone after I turn into eighteen will never change. I'm lacked of confidence, I mean, no one would like me in that way. I'm a person that wishes to bring the world happiness, therefore maybe I would act as crazy as I am/can, that unfortunately would ruin my ladylike image(which I don't have that, sadly)- I don't sit like a lady, I don't eat like a lady, I am not gentle, I am always in angry mode, I am super annoying, etc. No one would.

Not that I'm sad about it. I'm sure someone would, someday.

Mom's birthday today, 29/09/12..
She's out celebrating her birthday and I'm home alone.
But I, unintentionally spoke rudely to her before her birthday, well because.. I don't know why I just did. I felt so frustrated I don't know why. -_- I think I was frustrated how I really procrastinate a lot. I want to study but my mind wouldn't bring me to books but to anything else like the guitar(UHH, great distraction), the computer(which was repaired just right a week before exam, #likewhat)

Even after it hit me, I am still procrastinating, that shows how useless and lazy person I am already, no? I guess now, I should find some motivational quotes and just give myself a wake up call. Or to flip through the bible. Maybe it's because I didn't pray for determination to be in me. .__.