"look back & learn"
➫October 2008
➫November 2008
➫December 2008
➫January 2009
➫February 2009
➫March 2009
➫April 2009
➫May 2009
➫June 2009
➫July 2009
➫August 2009
➫September 2009
➫October 2009
➫November 2009
➫December 2009
➫January 2010
➫February 2010
➫March 2010
➫April 2010
➫May 2010
➫June 2010
➫July 2010
➫August 2010
➫September 2010
➫October 2010
➫November 2010
➫December 2010
➫January 2011
➫February 2011
➫March 2011
➫April 2011
➫May 2011
➫June 2011
➫July 2011
➫August 2011
➫September 2011
➫October 2011
➫November 2011
➫December 2011
➫January 2012
➫February 2012
➫March 2012
➫April 2012
➫May 2012
➫June 2012
➫July 2012
➫August 2012
➫September 2012
➫October 2012
➫November 2012
➫December 2012
➫January 2013
➫February 2013
➫March 2013
➫April 2013
➫May 2013
➫July 2013
➫August 2013
➫October 2013
➫November 2013
➫December 2013
➫January 2014
➫February 2014
➫May 2014
➫June 2014
➫July 2014
➫September 2014
➫October 2014
➫November 2014
➫December 2014
➫February 2015
➫March 2015
➫May 2015
➫June 2015
➫October 2015
Title: worst b'day eve.
Monday, September 12, 2011 || 11:36 PM
This year's birthday, I'm just gonna say, it weirdly didn't turn up so well. I thought everything would be okay but no, I was seriously frustrated about my overworryness, selfishness and etc. You know it sucks to cry the day before your birthday. I was worried and I talked to God. I just had that feeling that God told me it's gonna be okay. So I agreed to let something in, but before I talked to God I told my friend about it. BUT I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD TURN OUT LIKE THIS. I guess I shouldn't have told anyone about anything, or everything about myself. It's just a wrong decision since the beginning of my life. NO ONE CAN BE TRUSTED EXCEPT God. I don't know but I'm feeling so frustrated now. I'm so tired of trying to accept and ending up disappointing myself. It's not like anyone cares, right? I think it's destined that my parents are not around today. Maybe God really wants it to be this way. But, it's okay, everything is.. how it is now.
I've learned a lesson the day before my birthday, that I should only tell EVERYTHING to God, because He's the one and only, who wouldn't betray ANYONE of us. I admit that I'm not too happy about the whole thing. But I'm still glad to have so many friends who are supporting and loving me. I know you all do. I know.. but don't you think sometimes you just have to ask me about something before you tell anyone about it. When I say God says it's okay, IT'S REALLY GONNA BE OKAY. Sigh. What's wrong with me today? I'm such a jerk.
Somehow, I don't feel like I belong to this world. Thought of committing suicide but it's definitely the worst choice ever. Anyway, I promise tomorrow, I'll post about my happy side. Guarantee, not something like this.
I know people are trying to make me happy. I know.. that's why I'm trying hard to accept the way they want it to be. Especially it's what they wished it to be. How can I be so selfish EVERY SHITTY TIME. Sorry. but, EVERY SINGLE TINY BIT TIME.
By the way, sorry for pushing all the blame, I'm scared I'll break down any second in front of the comp if I were to put all the blames on myself. At least, not now, I'll get back all the blames after I get into my room. I know all the blames are on me. Just releasing here, but its all my fault. Kay thanks bye.
LEO blog |
KRS blog |
KRS FB page
