"look back & learn"

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It's been so long, I've been living my life as if I never had a blog. Sorry dear blog since I only remember to share my pain with you, never joy. Or, idk. I only remember your existence when I need you? What's that called again? Not mutualism nor commensalism. Something starting with a P. Oh, right, just googled it, it's parasitism. Oh dearest blog I bet you're hurt.

What. I'm such a weirdo.

So I just decided to visit my blog and saw the cbox section. Whoaaaa.. Never knew there are people who still would read my blog. Some more Jing Jing told me she just read my blog like wert :P

Actually what I'm about to tell you is mind blowing haha. I just finished my final finals for foundation like last Thursday. Can you believe that? 'cause I certainly can't. And guess what? I'll be starting my degree on the 11th of May. 😏 *feels so old and blogger should totally update this blog post section or add an emoji section so I don't have to go online to copy paste* 😏😏

And I stumbled upon these emojis and they are just so wrong please - 👭👬 - what has the world become to ohmai.

Oh wells.

Anyways, not exactly starting though. I can't believe the government has set to require us to study 8 frigging MPU subjects. 😭 is life all about studying MPU subjects now or what? Sigh. So I will have 3 months of studying 3 out of 5 MPU subjects and then officially start degree in October (September intake) and kinda praying that God would provide me to go to UK to study for my 3rd year. Huhu, no one knows about this plan of mine, but I really wanna get away form this town for a little while oh oh~ (somehow be able to link to Taylor's Love Story bahahaha.🎵  Knowing that song itself reveals how old I am eh?)

Chey, actually I'm not that old. Haven't even reached my last teen year (not yet but soon and that's just sad but also truly thank God that I've experienced almost 19 years of life? and a few wonderful years to have known Him. Certainly the most amazing few years in my life. Life has never been so good.)

But yah. I already studied 3 MPU subjects okay the government is just cray lah. And MPU subject alone has like the most assignments which doesn't make sense at all weihs. Out of 12 months almost 11 months of time spent on MPU. That is just indeed the definition of nonsense.

Okay lah, maybe not that bad. I still was blessed enough to have met nice MPU lecturers and even got to interview a Member of Parliament and found out a lot more about politics which was kinda interesting.

Anyways lately I've been sleeping a lot YAY. Public holidays are the best 'cause I get to not go to work and sleep in and all I do is just to stay at home and eat and sleep and of course finally get to do whatever I want which I haven't had that opportunity to do so for a VERY VERY VERY VERY long time already. To say that "it's been awhile" is an understatement. Like 10 meter deep down under the sea and under the under sea kinda understatement man. Thank God for this time to just slow down (BUT WHY IS TIME PASSING SO FAST I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO CLASSES SO SOON ALTHOUGH I DO MISS MY CLASSMATES)

Oh and I'm really really really excited for the PD trip next weekend. Although I foresee that it will be a very awkward time for me. I'm still undecided whether to bring my guitar or ukulele (bringing guitar seems so show off-ish and attention seeking I think I will just go with ukulele) :/ BUT I ACTUALLY REALLY WANNA PLAY THE GUITAR BY THE SEA ONE DAY, that's like the dream, but at the same time I don't wanna attract attention. #dilemma

Oh wells, I think I had just decided what to bring already?

Oh krep, I just remembered I need to come out with prayer items?? Oh yup yup that's for the upcoming campus camp we will have in July kinda look forward to it since it will be about apologetics but the preparation process part is...... OHMAI I KINDA WANNA ESCAPE REALITY FOR AWHILE LAH. Sigh.

Why, responsibilities why? When you are responsible in something you just can't be irresponsible although you're so tempted to just put everything aside.

Oh, andd I really am not capable and too irresponsible to take up the president post (of CF) lah.. Although at the same time I also feel burdened to serve. I thought high school was the end of all my responsibilities but now it seems like high school was just the beginning of everything man.

And oh God, help me be a responsible person, a good daughter to my parents please. :/ Lately I've been feeling so like urgh screw everything and that's really really bad. :/ Really really need to come back to the feet of God and lay everything there including my terrible behaviours, ew. 😭😭😭😭 definitely can't do this if it's not with God.